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Musician Jokes For a Rainy Day
 By Ben BlakesleyGeorges Music Everybody loves a little music humor to break up the intensity that is creative collaboration.Here's a collection of music jokes from various sources and traditions.But use with caution...and if you're particularly concerned about offending your drummer, just use big words, you'll be alright :-) (that was joke #1). The JokesHow do you know when the stage is level ?The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth ..What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend ?Homeless...How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune ?Evidently all of themWhat do you do if your bassist is drowning?Throw him his amp.What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?No one cries when you chop up a banjo."Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a guitar player!""Now Johnny, you can't do both!"What do you call a drummer with half a brain?Gifted.How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb ?None...they just steal somebody else's lightWhat do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?A drummer.How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?None. They have machines to do that now.How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?The knock gets faster.How do you get a rhythm guitarist to play softer?Give him music to read.In the 22nd century..how many guitarists will it take to replace a light source ??Five..one to actually do it ...and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.What's the difference between a lead singer and the rear end of a horse?I don't know either.What do you call a groupie who hangs around and annoys musicians? A keyboard player.Why don't bass players play hide and seek? Because no one will look for them.What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.[yikes! that's my cue to end this article!] ConclusionThat should stir the pot enough...Now get back to what musicians do best: Arguing!
Ben Blakesley is in charge of Marketing and Technology at George's Music and has been telling successful music jokes since he was a small boy. It's not that impressive, his dad is a banjo player, it just comes naturally...
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